Best Police Comments

~#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

~#14 "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

~#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

~#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second?
In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet
fired from my gun."

~#11 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I
guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

~#10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh . did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

~#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O. K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

~#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

~#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey DOO."

~#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my
wife gets a toaster oven."

~#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

~#4 "Just how big were those two beers?"

~#3 "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to
have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

~#2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

And.................... THE BEST ONE !!!!!!!

~#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?
... You're right, we don't. .... Sign here.